5:23 PM michael: got ya. i just figured out that the heathers sing in both english and gaelic
never noticed
5:24 PM me: i would let them lick my gae
gae=dick.
michael: hahahahaha
gay?
5:25 PM me: pssshhh, not this stud.
i fuck CHICKS dude.
and party.
i fucking party with chicks with tits.
5:26 PM michael: dude get the fuck out here...and if you do get the fuck outta here can i go to the party with the tits with you. in seperate cars so people dont think we do not like tits.
me: i do keg stands to bring my virility to their attention. cuz sometimes you have to do cool stuff to get chicks ya know?
5:27 PM of course bro.
two dudes in one car is gay as fucking shit.
i like tits dude.
im no gay.
5:28 PM michael: oh i know man. like one time i beat up a gay guy, or at least i think he was gay cus he looked at my ass, but i beat him up , skinned his headd ate his gay brains out then filled it with miller light then drank it. but bro its cool i got tested afterwards for the gay aids...but i guess the cruc amount of alcohol i consumed killed the gay aids. (hi fives)
so i know where you coming from
5:30 PM me: that is fucking hella clutch bro.
hella clutch.
youre a cool dude bro-ski
i mean that in the totally non-gay way.
tits and fuckin chicks and college and keggers brah.
5:31 PM jerking off in a circle onto a cookie with three other dudes and then the last one to cum eats the cookie, know what im sayin?
frats rock.
5:32 PM michael: dude while i was totally in my 6th year of college brah, me and another total bro invented a fuckin keg man, that fuckin had 9 tits all around it...each one gave us beer man, so at night man we'd fuckin drink miller light off fuck tits brah, it was tits. dude and circle jerks fuckin rock...we used popsicles though
5:34 PM me: tit kegs, fuck tits, lifting weights, fucking chicks with large tits, creatine and muscle mass, sandals and frisbee, fucking boh'sers and bro'sers bro!
5:35 PM FUCK I AM READY TO PARTY UP!!
im kicking this fucking shit into overdrive brahsterino!
5:36 PM michael: dude i done kicked it. what you can not see over here is that i have a fucking direct line of coors light fed directly into my ass, and 6 big titted bitches under the desk given me the biggest head ever...while listenin to fuckin coldplay bra
me: bras fucking suck brah. i like when a chicks tits are fake so they dont need a bra, know what im sayin brah? fake tits are so fuckin tits. they are tits as dick.
5:37 PM oh shit dude! coldplay! you are a stone cold party hound!
aaa-whooooo!
owwww!
5:38 PM michael: brah you know it, im actually going to get one of my broetes to get fuckin insulated fake tits so i can store a fuckin sixer of fuckin natty in them man. so it will be like the best of both worlds...tits and beer or beer and titts...fuck i m not a gay...i just dont know which is more man. shit.
COLDPLAY
man and...and fuckin LAX
5:39 PM dreams man
me: you are a fucking visionary bro!
5:40 PM damn. youre like einsteen and that one guy that invented outer space.
michael: im a fuck pussinary man
and dude that guy who invented space is fuckin stone cold bro
for real
me: fuck yea brah
you know he listened to the dead.
like daily bro.
5:44 PM me: well, its almost time to hop into my jeep (i left the doors at home!) and blast dave matthews on my way to my bach-pad aka my big titted chick fucking lair where i'm gonna throw off my shirt and tie, put on an old stinky gym shirt and my visor, crack open a miller lite, open all my windows, blast some OAR and watch some fucking sports center.
and play cornhole outside on my sidewalk.
tits yea! michael: fuck yeah TITS!
5:50 PM whom ever hates tits...id...id seriously venture to say they were probably gay....and probably did not like stout
5:51 PM me: you said whom.
you must be a gay.
michael: fuck!
TITS TITS TITS STOUT
STOUT
TRUCK NUTS
NUTS
5:52 PM me: welcome back broseph.
you had me worried for a sec bro.
michael: i cant not beleive we just spent 30 minutes or so doing that
me: i know man
michael: thats an episode
me: i actually feel kind of bad.
we just wrote the stupidest sitcom ever
5:53 PM michael: hahahahahah yep
me: ok... im outskies dewd.
peace.
wait youre sitting right next to me.
fucking internet.
No comments:
Post a Comment